Gambling With A TARDIS
by AwesomePossum123
Summary: Rose makes a wager with the TARDIS about an unsuspecting Doctor. Can she win it? One-Shot.


Bit of a one-shot ;) All reviews appreciated!

* * *

"You what?" Rose asked, laughing uncontrollably.

She heard the TARDIS's voice in her head again, a nice relaxing hum. "I want to make a bet with you Rose Tyler."

"What's the bet?" Rose asked, stroking the wall of the ship.

"I bet that you can't get my thief intoxicated tonight."

"Your thief? You mean the Doctor?!"

In response Rose got a hum that sounded a lot like 'Mhmm.'

"And if I win, what do I get?"

"If you win, I'll upgrade your sleeping chambers to a bedroom from a five-star hotel for a month."

"And if you win?"

"I'll just have the satisfaction of watching you stumbling around intoxicated while he's sober."

Rose laughed, "You're on!"

She ran off through the hallway of the ship to find the Doctor in his library, scribbling down things in a book. He saw Rose and shut the journal immediately, and spoke to her. "Rose! You should be asleep!"

"I couldn't sleep," She lied, smiling and sitting down next to him.

"But you're not even in sleeping clothes..." He said, noticing her casual blue dress.

Rose heard the TARDIS laughing in her head. "That's because I um, changed back." The Doctor nodded, obviously not believing her. "Want to go down to the kitchen and get some bananas with me?" She suggested.

"Sure, I do love a banana!" He said excitedly, setting down his journal and walking towards the kitchen. He noticed Rose smiling at the ceiling mischievously. "You alright, Rose?"

"Yeah, I'm doing fine, I'm doing brilliant," She said to him, though he knew her voice was really directed at the TARDIS.

In the kitchen, Rose placed down a banana for each of them, and silently asked the TARDIS to put some drinks in the cabinets. To her surprise the ship listened, and Rose questioned whether or not the TARDIS really would mind losing the bet as she poured a drink for the Doctor and herself, and left the bottle on the table as well.

"I don't really drink alcohol," The Doctor said examining his drink.

"Why not?" She asked.

"Well, one I've learned this body doesn't have much of a taste for it, two, Time-Lords can't get drunk, three, the last time I drank a lot I ended up in prison, naked."

"But you just said you can't get drunk," Rose said.

"Oh uh, well, er, not from Earth drinks you see."

"This bottle has alien writing on it."

The Doctor picked up the bottle and looked closely at the writing on the label. "This is Gallifreyan liquor. Where did you get this?"

"Just um, picked it up somewhere," Rose said.

"Well I suppose Gallifreyan drinks _are_ rather good..." He said, considering it. He took a sip of the drink, and his eyes lit up. "Very good. But wait, Rose, you probably shouldn't-"

Rose sipped the drink and smiled, "Shouldn't what?"

"You can't have any more, it's not good for a human," He took the drink away from her.

"But Doctorrr. I want another sip!"

"I really don't think that's a good idea," He said pulling her glass even closer towards himself.

"I won't have or ask for any more IF," She said, "You drink both our glasses and the entire bottle."

"What?! Rose, Gallifreyan alcohol is incredibly strong. You don't want me to-"

"I thought your amazing Time-Lord physiology could handle anything hmm?"

"Well yes but-"

"I guess if you won't do it, I'll have to."

He groaned, "You're so stubborn! Why do you want to get me drunk anyways?" Rose looked up at the ceiling of the ship, looking for an answer. "Wait a minute... Is the TARDIS involved in this?!" He exclaimed.

"No, of course not, I just want to see how much you can take, Doctor. You're all about science and experiments right?" She smiled brightly at him.

"Well I suppose..." The Doctor began to grip one of the drinks in front of him. After staring at it in contemplation for a few seconds he said, "If I can't stop Rose you had better stop me."

Rose nodded and started smiling when he brought the drink to his lips and drank.

"That is _good. _That is... Wow. Brilliant."

The Doctor brought the next drink to his lips, then grabbed the whole bottle eagerly. "Uh, Doctor, just how strong is Gallifreyan alcohol?"

He raised a finger to her, telling her he would answer her question when he was done downing the entire bottle. "It won't harm my thief, but it works instantly," The TARDIS hummed in her mind.

He lowered the glass onto the table and wiped his mouth with his sleeve. His voice was already slurred and his movements strange. "You know what I could go for? A drink. A nice drink how about you Rose would you like a drinkity dink? A binkity winkity? A think? Sometimes I think." He muttered, standing up from the table and almost tripping over himself.

"Oh god Doctor, it has been ten seconds and you're already wasted!" She laughed.

"Wasted? Waist? Oh my god I have a waist," He looked down at himself, then ran a hand through his hair, "Feel my hair Rose! It's like pointy pencils!" He grabbed her hand and put it on his head. She laughed and pulled out her camera to record the drunk Time-Lord. He would kill her later.

"Yes, Doctor, your hair is very pointy," She giggled.

He said something slurred that she couldn't understand, then felt her head. He suddenly got a serious frown, "Rose... Your hair... It's not pointy like mine, feel it!"

She felt her own head and made a fake shocked expression, "Oh no!"

"Rose. Rosie, Rosebud, Roserroo, Roweyroo, Rooooose. Tyler," He cupped her face with his hands.

"Yes?" She replied, recording this entire thing.

"You. Are drop dead sexy," He said pointing to her, before walking out the door of the kitchen and down the hall.

"Oh so you think I'm sexy?" She asked, smirking at the camera.

"Definitely," He said heading for the console room, but Rose turned him around. "Oh no, I'm not letting you in the console room when you're drunk. You'd never forgive me."

The Doctor looked very confused at that, "I'm not drunk," He stated.

"Yes you are," She laughed.

"I am? Oh my god, Rose, I'm drunk!" He smiled as if he had just won an award. He pulled her close to him and kissed her on the lips. As amazing as it felt, she pulled away, knowing she shouldn't take advantage of him.

"Have I won yet?" She asked the TARDIS.

"You beat my bet, Rose Tyler," The ship hummed, "Go try out that five-star bedroom with him. Don't worry, my thief won't be mad. I can enter his mind, I know that he wants you to be his lover, sober or not."

Rose smiled and led the happy Doctor to her new room by his arm.

* * *

The following morning, Rose made the Doctor watch the video of himself on her camera.

"Oh Rassilon... Did I seriously say your hair wasn't pointy like mine?" He asked, blushing.

"Yes," She laughed, "Now excuse me while I send this to my mum."

"What?! No!" He exclaimed taking the phone from her.

"Too late!" Rose said, giving him her signature smile, with her tongue sticking out the side of her mouth.

"But where _did_ you get that bottle from?"

Rose turned her head quickly and winked at the TARDIS, "Oh you know, nowhere."


End file.
